Monday, December 19, 2011

Feedback on my Beginning of my Story Please..?

You tell to much in the first chapter, its better to leave things a mystery and let the reader guess. Your too much on the same lines as twilight, why not go for Werewolfes or some other type of mythical creature. Why not choose a more imaginative name, like Hansen or Ericksen. Otherwise it is very good. :)

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